My life is nowhere near where i thought i'd be but i'm actually excited.
I think we all have an expectation for where we will be when we "grow up", the house, the kids, the career, the money, maybe the car, the holiday, where we will live etc.
But no one ever asks us are we happy with that life?
A few years ago i had the career, the lifestyle others would have killed for, i loved it but i don't actually think i was happy. I was just surviving, and guess what i burnout, badly.
I had a choice, stay where i was, and try to get my health in better place, or prioritise my health and leave everything i'd ever known. 15 years of a life and i didn't know what else i could do.
I thought I'd failed, why could everyone else do this and i couldn't? What would i do if i left? (i didn't know anything else) but something inside of me said leave, prioritise the health and figure out the rest.
I said i would take a year to prioritise my health but after trying to do that i was bored, felt unfulfilled and needed a purpose. I loved Breathwork and knew thats what i needed to follow, so i signed up to three courses in a year.
It was the best thing i ever did, although i was studying and trying to recover from burnout, it gave me purpose, i learned ways to support myself during burnout and started to feel better and better.
I should have been relaxing, taking it easy and having time off but the studying helped me to find my way through burnout.
So after i got my qualifications i started my business thinking everyone would love Breathwork but in Newcastle most people hadn't even heard of it.
Combining starting a business and burnout recovery is not something i'd recommend but it weirdly helped me to find my way in the world after leaving my career.
For the last few years i have combined running a business, and my own journey back to myself. There have been highs, lows and tears along the way, it has been tougher than i ever imagined, but i have just been following. Following my breath, following my body, following my heart, and following unexpected connections, opportunities and places i never thought i'd be.
After spending years hiding behind the camera, i've been guest speaking at network events, on social media, held workshops at Manifest, Great north yoga show and soon Show up north, and put some of my opinions out there, when it felt absolutely terrifying.
This makes it sound like an amazing few years, and it definitely has, i have done things i never thought i'd do, but there have been incredibly difficult, frustrating days, weeks and months, where giving up would have been the easiest thing to do, but something inside of me has said keep going. Have a cry, have some sleep and start again the next day.
Somatics (the body) training has been the missing piece for me, the thing that has brought it altogether. Working with my nervous system has given me ways to support myself both personally and professionally to keep my business going.
Why i am writing this? To be honest, i'm not fully sure, something inside of me needed to share this with others, as my work has already been to help others through sharing my journey.
I am getting better at saying this is how you work with me. So here we go.
If you'd like to learn more about how Breathwork, Somatics and nervous system work can support you. Book a free 30 minute consultation.
I also want to say thank you to my clients who have trusted me to work with you, to everyone who has given me a chance to bring my work into this world and to huge thank you to my boyfriend and family for supporting me along the way through the difficult days, and for trying something you weren't quite sure of, but think you all enjoyed parts of it along the way.
Here are some links to some local businesses that have supported me.
I've probably missed someone off, so apologies if i have.
If you are feeling, stuck, left behind, not following the "typical," way of doing life, but it makes you happy, (not perfect, not easy, but happy) please keep going. The best things in life come from unexpected ways i truly believe this.
Am i where i thought i'd be right now? No. But i am also excited for where i might be heading, and trying to remember to enjoy the journey along the way.
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